Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Doublewide decor and other places you don't want to be... (SFW)

My Daddy sent me this picture :)
Does something stink in here?  Oh, sorry, it's me...ayeee.  Yes, after spending four plus hours in the VeeDub, I'm back from Oklahoma.  Did you know there are folks living down there without wifiI was chained by a yellow cable in a little, back room all alone...  Anyway, nothing reminds me of Oklahoma more than bad decor.  It's everywhere!  It's the Oklahoma equivalent of "that local mediocre sports team that you must be a fan of cause they're local...here, have a lamp!"  Yes, I'm saying, Native Inspired schlock fills the NFL schlock-void.  Not to mention, it denigrates those who were forced to live there only to have most of  that land taken, too.  The land-theft, I mean Land-run is  re-ennacted every to rub it in to celebrate the state's shameful proud history .  Okay, done ranting, back to decor?

So, you know you're at the right trailer when you see this:
From my favorite decor site, collections.com
Wouldn't this look great above the door?
From the Hamilton collection (yes, the same people who brought you The Unicorn DreamCatcher)

 Look Ma! It's a Thomas Kinkade!

Another Treasure from the Hamilton Collection, yes you should look at it up close! It's fabulous!
This reminds me of a story.  A friend of mine started dating  a new guy.  She said, "You really like him.  He collects art!"  Of course, the guy turned out be a middle-age, balding, overweight, divorced, retail manager.  Okay, he was nice.  However, when I asked him about his much touted art collection, it turned out he collected Thomas Kinkade - Painter of light.  You can imagine how fun it was for my husband to watch me squirm and discuss "The Art of Thomas Kinkade" with a straight face.  No, my friend and the guy didn't work out.  Amazingly, she decided he was "a loser" completely on her own and without taking his "art collection" into consideration.  Anyway, I'm pretty sure he has this thing on a side table near his floral couch.

Bratz, now in winged stereotypes!
The Hamilton Collection never disappoints!  

This is from Jasmine Becket-Griffith's Spirit Maidens Figurine Collection. Spirit Maiden? Really? It reminds me of those pixies my mother collected in the seventies, only racist.


You know that old white guy with the bone-choker you see at Walmart?
You think he has one of these on his wall?
From, guess where?  The Hamilton Collection, whose slogan is "Collectables Inspired By You!"  Yes, you are to blame for this!  Can you stop inspiring already?


ZOMG! What time is it?
From Collections etc
I love the description on this one, "Table clock features a Native American style sculpted base with a maiden princess and her wolf spirit guide looking heavenward with the hope of being showered with good fortune from the dreamcatcher above. Requires 1 "AA" battery (not included). Crafted of plastic and resin

WTF?

Yes, from Collections Etc
I don't even have to make fun of it.  Read the decsription, "Birds will love to pow-wow in the confines of this cozy Native American style teepee birdhouse. It has a perch outside where two birds are busy and an opening for birds to enter. Charms dangle from its bottom. Hanging hook and cleanout door in the base."
Yep, you read that right, it's a bird Pow-wow.  Never mind the weirdness of feather headdresses on birds, that's right up there with chickens eating McNuggets, but why is the cradle-board hanging upside down? 

2 comments:

  1. I suppose the birds could wear the feathers of other birds, like an eagle wearing a pigeon's feathers, or something. There are people who eat monkey.

    You should do a drinking game:

    Shot whenever...

    A wild canid is mentioned.
    Someone is holding a scene, as if that makes any sense.
    Men are half-naked in a climate where it wouldn't be appropriate.
    Rule 34 is invoked. (Chug the whole thing if Rule 36 is as well; you'll need it to wash away the bad memories.)

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  2. I always assume that a white guy wearing a bone-choker is either a hippie or trying to fake being Indian so he can get a hippie girl to, ahem, choke his bone.

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