Awful inspires Awful

Taken by me at an arts & craft show somewhere in Kansas

Don't those fairies look strangely familiar?

Well, they should.

Yes, it's Jasmine Becket-Griffith's Spirit Maidens, again, brought to you by the wonderfully offensive dedicated folks at the Hamiton Collection.

O.o, check out the description:

"Embark on a quest to feel the spirit's guiding presence with a first-ever collectible fantasy art fairy figurine collection featuring fairies and their spirit guiding friends by acclaimed fantasy artist Jasmine Becket-Griffith, only from The Hamilton Collection. Your mystical journey begins with Issue One, Moonheart, the Spirit of Strength. Soon, your mesmerizing collection continues with Issue Two, Dreamsky, the Spirit of Vision and additional collectible fairy figurines, each a separate issue to follow."

So, there's MORE!  Oh wow, that wacky artist lady (who will remain unnamed, because I was too busy taking pictures and making fun of her work to pick up her card) to be INSPIRED by. 

I'm betting her next painting will look something like this:

Don't even get me started on the owls...

Oh, did I completely forget about all those antlers and dead animal skins draped on that artist's table?
It was like a taxidermist explosion plus turquoise.  Because when you think turquoise, what's the first thing that comes to mind?  

No, not that. 

Not that, either.  

No, the sacredness of nature that can only be experienced by surrounding oneself with dead things. (that's the theory anyway)

Oh look, driftwood.

What's sad about all this is that we have a large, active Native Community here.  I wonder how many walked by this booth and thought, "Wow, that's bad."  I'm not so much offended as I am annoyed.  It would have been so easy for the artist to ask someone, "Do you think it's too much?" 

*sigh*

Random Tagging Round-up (NSFW)

Sort of getting back to our roots today.  These are all photos my Facebook friends have been tagged in.  With the exception of a certain Osage and Dakota, most of these tags were meant as compliments.
There are a few common themes in these kind of images that fill the internet.

Sky Faces

Because the wolves are coming over for dinner on Wednesday...

Not "Awful" enough?  Photoshop in a creepy leering Spears brother!

 Wolves

Sky faces + wolves = double points!

Photoshop is hard...

Dreams Catchers:

Do not feed the dream-catcher bear.

Wolves, white women, pink feathers, oh, and I'm glad we're friends. Ahhhh....

All these things would eat you if they had a chance...just sayin' :)

Photoshop WTF?

Okay, I get the trees, eagles, owls, and generic mystical guy, but why are there 2 Death stars in this picture?

It's like they put everything "Awful" in a blender!

Rule 34

Why does so much "Native Inspired" art include the "O" face?

 Somebody really likes wolves.
Wait a minute!
Skyface + wolf + rule 34 = TRIPLE POINTS!

I'm not thinking about religion  right now, are you?  
I'm waiting for that really strong wind. O.o.

OH MY! Wait, is that Gene Simmons as an Angel? 

Doublewide decor and other places you don't want to be... (SFW)

My Daddy sent me this picture :)

Does something stink in here?  Oh, sorry, it's me...ayeee.  Yes, after spending four plus hours in the VeeDub, I'm back from Oklahoma.  Did you know there are folks living down there without wifi?  I was chained by a yellow cable in a little, back room all alone...  Anyway, nothing reminds me of Oklahoma more than bad decor.  It's everywhere!  It's the Oklahoma equivalent of "that local mediocre sports team that you must be a fan of cause they're local...here, have a lamp!"  Yes, I'm saying, Native Inspired schlock fills the NFL schlock-void.  Not to mention, it denigrates those who were forced to live there only to have most of  that land taken, too.  The land-theft, I mean Land-run is  re-ennacted every to rub it in to celebrate the state's shameful proud history .  Okay, done ranting, back to decor?

So, you know you're at the right trailer when you see this:

From my favorite decor site, collections.com

Wouldn't this look great above the door?

From the Hamilton collection (yes, the same people who brought you The Unicorn DreamCatcher)

 Look Ma! It's a Thomas Kinkade!

Another Treasure from the Hamilton Collection, yes you should look at it up close! It's fabulous!

This reminds me of a story.  A friend of mine started dating  a new guy.  She said, "You really like him.  He collects art!"  Of course, the guy turned out be a middle-age, balding, overweight, divorced, retail manager.  Okay, he was nice.  However, when I asked him about his much touted art collection, it turned out he collected Thomas Kinkade - Painter of light.  You can imagine how fun it was for my husband to watch me squirm and discuss "The Art of Thomas Kinkade" with a straight face.  No, my friend and the guy didn't work out.  Amazingly, she decided he was "a loser" completely on her own and without taking his "art collection" into consideration.  Anyway, I'm pretty sure he has this thing on a side table near his floral couch.

Bratz, now in winged stereotypes!

The Hamilton Collection never disappoints!  

This is from Jasmine Becket-Griffith's Spirit Maidens Figurine Collection. Spirit Maiden? Really? It reminds me of those pixies my mother collected in the seventies, only racist.

You know that old white guy with the bone-choker you see at Walmart?

You think he has one of these on his wall?

From, guess where?  The Hamilton Collection, whose slogan is "Collectables Inspired By You!"  Yes, you are to blame for this!  Can you stop inspiring already?

ZOMG! What time is it?

From Collections etc

I love the description on this one, "Table clock features a Native American style sculpted base with a maiden princess and her wolf spirit guide looking heavenward with the hope of being showered with good fortune from the dreamcatcher above. Requires 1 "AA" battery (not included). Crafted of plastic and resin" 

WTF?

Yes, from Collections Etc

I don't even have to make fun of it.  Read the decsription, "Birds will love to pow-wow in the confines of this cozy Native American style teepee birdhouse. It has a perch outside where two birds are busy and an opening for birds to enter. Charms dangle from its bottom. Hanging hook and cleanout door in the base."

Yep, you read that right, it's a bird Pow-wow.  Never mind the weirdness of feather headdresses on birds, that's right up there with chickens eating McNuggets, but why is the cradle-board hanging upside down? 

5 Signs your new FB friend is a pretendian

They use a Kirby Sattler painting as their profile picture.

Kirby Sattler "See through Fog"

Now, I'm not saying Kirby Sattler is a bad artist or anything. (please don't sue me)  Yes, I know, this is the "Awful" blog.  He is a white artist who is a bit stuck in the romantic past, but honesty, compared most of the "Native Inspired" artwork out there, this is benign. 


They say things like, 'The Spirits belong to everybody" and post videos like this.

Wow, don't you just feel enlightened now?
Maybe you should try doing few yoga poses while watching to get the full effect.
I'm in "corpse pose" right now!
I will probably be featuring a lot of that "art" soon.  I really don't get the whole "Native Spirituality" youtube video thing, but then again, I don't understand why church services are on television, either.

They regularly tag you in photos like this one:

www.ubercomments.com

And this is supposed to be a compliment.

They own a headdress like this:

Feather and Stuff

Or this:

Feather and Stuff

Or this:

Yup, still Feathers and Stuff

Wow, those are some glazed looking hipsters...Oh, wait, no, those are mannequins.  My mistake.

Their weekend Pow-wow videos look something like this:

I've been watching this over and over; I'm more confused each time.

What the hell are they doing?

This is a pow-wow in Zuromin, Poland of all places.  

The drum group, Dead Dog Singers, are from the Czech Republic.  

Can somebody please tell me why?

Happy 4-20

No, this image isn't wiggling, it's just you.

 Today's post makes no sense  Why should it?  It's 4-20 and I reserve the right to be as incoherent as possible, but in all honesty I never was that coherent to begin with.  Disclaimer: the celebration of 4-20 does not mean the Blog Author advocates illegal activity of any kind...I just think it's funny.

Here's some brightly colored images for you to stare at.

from some new-agey site 

Whoa...

from the same new agey site

Anybody else thinking about the end of the world?

These rocks glow in the dark!

stolen form this blog

I realize this picture has nothing to do with Native Americans at all, but they're rocks and they freaking GLOW IN THE DARK!  Isn't that just mind blowing?

This thing is creeping me out...

from www.glitzgifts.net

It's like somebody's handbag came to life and tried to start a conversation with you.
I can't tell if this is "Native Inspired" or not, the description is too damn long for me to read with that thing staring at me, but it costs $2,777.00.

Lookie, another dreamcatcher...

stolen from a French blog

I found this while looking for Iktomi. This is not him, but don't worry, he'll turn up.

But if you need a spider fix...  (NSFW, wait, who am I kidding, you aren't at work!)

And for the munchies...

from pulse

Yes, Cupcake Teepees with SPRINKLES!

Happy 4-20, ya'll!

Everybody wants to be Poke-A-Hottie...er, I mean Pocahontas(NSFW)

Blog Goddess Note:  This was one where I can't even show you the most "Awful" things I found on the interwebs.  Why anyone would want to dress up as hyper-sexualized version of a 13-year-old girl is beyond me.  Make me want to bury my nose in one of those "Red roots of White feminism" books and have a friend smudge me.  BTW- if anyone want to read some interesting info about the real Pocahontas check out the article" Pocahontas, Half-Raced and Fully Sexed: The Almost Empty Signifier and American Iconography"

Pocahontas the Cannibal?

IO9 Twisted Princesses

Considering everything I found, I kind of like this.  Makes me think she is going to whoop the ass of everyone defiling her image.

Neither more interesting nor attractive...

City Salon HB

 I don't get it, why do people do this?  "Oh, I'm so inspired by Pocahontas, I'm going to put a leather dress and have somebody take my picture."  It sounds ridiculous, right?  

Yet, we see it, again.

Krasimir Ganchev
Anybody else getting bored, yet?

And again,

Ann Lobowitz "On Disney fairytale Legends" for Vanity fair. 

Fairytale? What?

And Again.

Pocahontas EXPLORE! by Martina Michelle
I'd call it "Self portrait with Dryer Sheet" but that's just me.

Then, there those who should know better.

And the Cherokee Nation groans in unison...

The Random

• Robin Williams Pocahontas 2009, oil on linen, 5 x 6 feet
  Was the title "White chick on an inner tube" taken already?
  

 And the scary

Just imagine Dolls

Just another way to ensure your daughters have eating disorders.

Sadly, not even close to the worst of it.

Deviant Art Steeveinlove

 It goes down hill from here, lots of leather thongs and feathers, especially on posts surrounding thanksgiving. (Because nothing makes you want to give thanks like porn)

And going back to more whoop-ass (because after seeing everything out there, I may want to carry an axe around, too).

Simon Bisley Famous Women #9 Original Art - Pocahontas

Blog Goddess's note: I had to remove a picture per request, hopefully, they now realize how offensive and boring their photo concept was.