Coyote "Inspirations"

Coyote the Trickster, we've all heard the stories about how he tricks Iktomi out of his roasted prairie dogs or how he stole fire or his hundreds of other stories.  (Wait, why is there no awful spider art? Believe me, I've been looking.)


Anyway, here are some "Awful" ways to express your connectedness to the coyote.  Disclaimer:  The blog author is not responsible for any wackiness that may occur in your life for embracing coyotes.


Getting in touch your inner Coyote...Or preparing for Coachella?

deviant art

This woman says, "I can create headdresses such as this from just about any tanned fur you hand me. Bobcat, wolf, mountain lion, bear, African black-backed jackal....you name it, I'll do it (so long as it's legal, of course!)."

Wait, I found this trolling on Etsy... Yes, it is the same woman and still very creepy.

.

from etsy

Her listing claims this is "Perfect for Halloween, religous purposes, Burning Man, bonfire parties, Pow-Wows, costume parties, re-enactors, cosplayers, or anyone who wants to feel more in touch with their inner animal."   The misspellings are hers.

Um...What?  I must have missed the Roadkill Pow-wow.  Do they hold that off of the Will Rogers Turnpike?

But is it as bad as this?

From ebay, at $104 with 4 hours to go...

Oh but he looks so happy!  You know, with his severed head hanging on the wall.  Yup, happy.
Somebody wants this in their house, if it's any of you, please do me a favor and never invite me over.

Not Dooney & Burke...

from etsy, where else?

Ever think, "I could use a handbag that can elegantly sheath my 6-8 inch knife.  Those Burlington Coat Factory sales just get really rough sometimes, you never know when you might have to gut someone for taking the last pair of size 8 1/2 tiger print horse-hair pumps."  The dead coyote in this case would just be a warning to others.


Sometimes, I can't decide if something is scary, awful, awesome or all three.

deviant art user "I am Art slave"

When I see this, all I can think about is devouring Frank the Bunny.

Somebody read Generation T:

From Etsy.com

I was wondering what I'd wear if I found a Hot Tub Time Machine in Oklahoma City.

Not Felipe Rose:

 from Wood Co.

The website says, "This artifact is a wild and exceptional display piece! This impressive wall mount comes from Native American artists Super Moon and Black Wolf. It is part of a limited edition, number 20 of 500, and features a hand painted lost wax image of an American Indian Warrior."  
Now, I'm not going to claim know every Indigenous artisan out there, but Super Moon?  It doesn't say what tribe(s) the artisans belong to, either, which always strikes me as odd, especially when there's that whole Indian Arts and Crafts Act of 1990.
(please correct me if I'm wrong about this)
However, the site does go on to explain,"Native Americans have always felt a special connection to nature. The belief that all things have a spirit is an integral part of their religions. The Zuni believe that animals are more like the Zuni deities than is man. They also believe that animals have more power than man and that these powers, both practical and spiritual, reside in their totems."
Um, what do the Zuni have to do with this exactly? Hey, but he has horse hair, bison mane and coyote fur and for the low, low price of $361.95 plus shipping he can be yours!  I recommend hanging him in the guest room.




 

The "Awful" Field Guide to Dreamcatchers

The wolf cubs were whimpering in their sleep, so they got this lady...

 Full disclosure:  This blog goddess has a personal beef with dreamcatchers.  I went one of those day-camps for poor kids back-in-the-day.  The dreamcatcher was a favorite in their laundry list of cheap crafts they forced kids to make.  I blocked out most of it.

Despite my animosity, the dreamcatcher is the symbol of Pan-Indian identity and various New-Age groups seeking that extra special spiritual connection they can only get by imitation spiderwebs made in China.  

Anyway,  here it is: 

The "Awful" Field guide to Dreamcatchers

The Ren-fest

found on www.wetacollectors.com/forum

The Mystical Unicorn

Found on Ebay UK

The Oklahoma Truck Stop

found on ebay

I thought the idea of a dreamcatcher was to prevent nightmares.

The WTF?

found on etsy user id "grandmaspider"

The Neo-Pagan

Also found on etsy userid "FeatheredDreams1"

Is anyone else thinking about a goddess and her bra?

The Cat Toy

etsy userid "BarelyDavidson"

The Alien Hand

found at American Greetings, WTF?

Reminds me of the War of the Worlds TV Series.

The "It's looking at me"

An Etsy find, for more entertainment,you should read the listing. The artist says,"I've been lucky enough to have one hanging about the back yard the past week or so. He talks to me as I'm falling
asleep at night."  O.M.G. That thing is going to talk to me?! Yikes!

The Bird-Eater

etsy userid "lepetitreve"

Oh look, its a "whim-sicle", sort of like a pop-sicle, but makes louder sucking noises.

The Corsage

Etsty user id "HandmadeByBarb"

Can't you just picture this on the cardigan sweater of someone you don't want to be around or on the door of someplace you don't want to go?

The Sorority Girl

Ah, from our friend, FeatheredDreams1, again.

This is the Alpha Xi Delta version.  The Delta Zeta version comes with turtles.  The Tri-Delt one comes with trojans.

And Finally,

The Human

Don't try hanging this above your bed.

Why does it bother you so much? What's the big deal?

Yes, I've been asked the questions several times.  "Why does it bother you so much?  What's the big deal?  Where's the harm?"

Well,  for the most part, images like this one on the right, perpetuate a harmful set of ideas:

1. Real Indians are Dead.  When we associate Native Americans with this fanciful image, we ignore the real Indigenous people around us.
While it would be easier if to identify Native Americans if they all wore feathers where ever they go. It's just not practical and can lead to unprovoked cat attacks.
Also, sadly,Walmart will not allow pet eagles, or wolves, in their stores.  However, they will allow this, go figure.
2. Native American spirituality is simplistic.  I have to laugh about some of the strange ideas about Indigenous Religion. Sadly, our own history books over simplify Native American beliefs in such a way that it is perceived  as a series of bizarre and naive practices.  Spirituality varies greatly from tribe to tribe.  However, most of my Indigenous friends have told me there spiritual practice is more of a way life than an organized religion.  Let us not forget, the American government made practicing Native American religions illegal as part of their attempt to "Americanize" Native Americans.
3. Savage Booty exists.  Sorry Charlie, sex is universal and we all, animals included, do it pretty much the same.  (Well, except spiders, spiders are all kinds of weird!) I know there are soccer moms out there daydreaming about a man in pigtails riding on a horse wanting to do freaky things to them.  Madeline Baker built a romance novel empire around the fantasy.  Sadly, I know some of guys are going to be mad at me for saying so, Savage Booty is a lie.  The weird, explicit ceremonies outlined in the ever popular Hanta Yo are also lies.  Yes, there are Twin-Spirit people.  However, their cultural significance should be interpreted as inclusion (something dominant culture should emulate) rather than sexual deviance.

Authors note: I'm sure there's more.  I'd love to keep going, really I would.  I've been drinking Tussin DM straight from the bottle for two days.  It seems to be affecting my writing ability.  Please don't tease me about my dysfunctional spell-checking and editing abilities. CBear out.

Update:  Since so many people are reading my cough-syrup induced ramblings, I wanted to insert a link to Rob Schmidt's 2003 article on  "Kinky Indian Sex".  Enjoy.