Sort of getting back to our roots today. These are all photos my Facebook friends have been tagged in. With the exception of a certain Osage and Dakota, most of these tags were meant as compliments.
There are a few common themes in these kind of images that fill the internet.
Sky Faces
Because the wolves are coming over for dinner on Wednesday...
Not "Awful" enough? Photoshop in a creepy leering Spears brother!
Wolves
Sky faces + wolves = double points!
Photoshop is hard...
Dreams Catchers:
Do not feed the dream-catcher bear.
Wolves, white women, pink feathers, oh, and I'm glad we're friends. Ahhhh....
All these things would eat you if they had a chance...just sayin' :)
Photoshop WTF?
Okay, I get the trees, eagles, owls, and generic mystical guy, but why are there 2 Death stars in this picture?
It's like they put everything "Awful" in a blender!
Rule 34
Why does so much "Native Inspired" art include the "O" face?
Somebody really likes wolves.
Wait a minute!
Skyface + wolf + rule 34 = TRIPLE POINTS!
I'm not thinking about religion right now, are you? I'm waiting for that really strong wind. O.o.
Today's post makes no sense Why should it? It's 4-20 and I reserve the right to be as incoherent as possible, but in all honesty I never was that coherent to begin with. Disclaimer: the celebration of 4-20 does not mean the Blog Author advocates illegal activity of any kind...I just think it's funny.
Here's some brightly colored images for you to stare at.
I realize this picture has nothing to do with Native Americans at all, but they're rocks and they freaking GLOW IN THE DARK! Isn't that just mind blowing?
It's like somebody's handbag came to life and tried to start a conversation with you. I can't tell if this is "Native Inspired" or not, the description is too damn long for me to read with that thing staring at me, but it costs $2,777.00.
Coyote the Trickster, we've all heard the stories about how he tricks Iktomi out of his roasted prairie dogs or how he stole fire or his hundreds of other stories. (Wait, why is there no awful spider art? Believe me, I've been looking.)
Anyway, here are some "Awful" ways to express your connectedness to the coyote. Disclaimer: The blog author is not responsible for any wackiness that may occur in your life for embracing coyotes.
Getting in touch your inner Coyote...Or preparing for Coachella?
This woman says, "I can create headdresses such as this from just about any tanned fur you hand me. Bobcat, wolf, mountain lion, bear, African black-backed jackal....you name it, I'll do it (so long as it's legal, of course!)."
Wait, I found this trolling on Etsy... Yes, it is the same woman and still very creepy.
Her listing claims this is "Perfect for Halloween, religous purposes, Burning Man, bonfire parties, Pow-Wows, costume parties, re-enactors, cosplayers, or anyone who wants to feel more in touch with their inner animal." The misspellings are hers.
Um...What? I must have missed the Roadkill Pow-wow. Do they hold that off of the Will Rogers Turnpike?
But is it as bad as this?
From ebay, at $104 with 4 hours to go...
Oh but he looks so happy! You know, with his severed head hanging on the wall. Yup, happy.
Somebody wants this in their house, if it's any of you, please do me a favor and never invite me over.
Ever think, "I could use a handbag that can elegantly sheath my 6-8 inch knife. Those Burlington Coat Factory sales just get really rough sometimes, you never know when you might have to gut someone for taking the last pair of size 8 1/2 tiger print horse-hair pumps." The dead coyote in this case would just be a warning to others.
Sometimes, I can't decide if something is scary, awful, awesome or all three.
The website says, "This artifact is a wild and exceptional display piece! This impressive wall mount comes from Native American artists Super Moon and Black Wolf. It is part of a limited edition, number 20 of 500, and features a hand painted lost wax image of an American Indian Warrior." Now, I'm not going to claim know every Indigenous artisan out there, but Super Moon? It doesn't say what tribe(s) the artisans belong to, either, which always strikes me as odd, especially when there's that whole Indian Arts and Crafts Act of 1990. (please correct me if I'm wrong about this) However, the site does go on to explain,"Native Americans have always felt a special connection to nature. The belief that all things have a spirit is an integral part of their religions. The Zuni believe that animals are more like the Zuni deities than is man. They also believe that animals have more power than man and that these powers, both practical and spiritual, reside in their totems." Um, what do the Zuni have to do with this exactly? Hey, but he has horse hair, bison mane and coyote fur and for the low, low price of $361.95 plus shipping he can be yours! I recommend hanging him in the guest room.
Cher in 1973
(not touching the debate on Cher's "self-identified Cherokee" ancestry)
In the seventies, it was cool to be an "Indian", unless, of course, you happened to be an Indian.
I happen to know some Apaches. I can say with some certainty, there's nothing Apache here! Check out the shiny, blue fringe on Mr. "Butter Popcorn".
No Apaches here, either!
Did you catch the play tent?
This could be the Hipster Pretendian Theme-song:
Perhaps Ke$ha will cover it next!
Don't you just love the Album art? Thankfully, we're spared the video with this one.
Of course, that is a re-make of this song:
I know it's from 1968 and not disco, but it's just too awful not to include.
What's a disco post without The Village People? Felipe Rose honors his heritage by dancing in a loincloth, again.
Oh, but we've come so far since the Seventies, right?
This is a Norwegian band called Wig Wam. I'm just as confused as you are.
Look them up on You tube if you're bored or really hate yourself.
(btw- that guy's shirt says "I Chief; You Nothing!" or something to that effect, I found it odd.)
Blog goddess note: This post comes on the heels of Newspaper Rock's post on"Land theft in My Little Pony". Yet another chunk my childhood has bee marred by bad writing and racism. And here I thought Shia LaBeouf was the biggest threat to my innocent memories.
For $2.99 you can download this book.
A Challenge to be a Unicorn, A Native American Indian Pony book 2
This was self-published on March 10, my other unicorn post was published February 25, coincidence?
A brief description from Smashwords, “All unicorns have to spend time on Earth being a much loved horse, they have to earn golden stars in order to become a unicorn. This is book 2, all about a Native American boy and his horse.”
So, it's like a video game? Like playing Dora the Explorer, collecting all the stars to access the next level? Or Scientology?
What hipsters do in thier spare time...(Warning this a minute of your life you won't get back)
I have no frigging idea.
The description says, “A Native American is doing her daily dance to honor life, when she sees a mythical creature... a flying unicorn!!! The Native American tries to make peace, but the unicorn brutally murders the Native American - later boasting of her ability to fly. This is a symbolic reenactment of the horrors that befell the people who were once native to our land. The unicorn is seemingly innocent, but the true innocence is embedded within the Native American. She is pure, trusting, and as a result, is dealt a cruel fate.”
I think a better description would be, “Hey, I'm drunk and I have this hipster headdress and big green piece of paper hanging in my apartment! So, we got out that unicorn head from last year's key party and put together some racist bullshit!”
Yes, it a feather with a rainbow and a Unicorn! I want to put in my hair, grab that pink Unicorn drum from White Ego Woman and see if I can get anybody at HINU to sing with me!
Oh, but it gets better, Diane Tolleson is a psychic! For $60 an hour, she gives psychic reading by phone, email or in person! She, of course, also paints feathers. For $75 dollars she will paint your Labrador on a crow feather. Where has this woman been all my life?
Geeze, send me $60. I'll tell you, "Everything is coming up roses" and I'll paint your cat with blueberry wojapi.
Blog Goddess Note: This was one where I can't even show you the most "Awful" things I found on the interwebs. Why anyone would want to dress up as hyper-sexualized version of a 13-year-old girl is beyond me. Make me want to bury my nose in one of those "Red roots of White feminism" books and have a friend smudge me. BTW- if anyone want to read some interesting info about the real Pocahontas check out the article" Pocahontas, Half-Raced and Fully Sexed: The Almost Empty Signifier and American Iconography"
I don't get it, why do people do this? "Oh, I'm so inspired by Pocahontas, I'm going to put a leather dress and have somebody take my picture." It sounds ridiculous, right?
It goes down hill from here, lots of leather thongs and feathers, especially on posts surrounding thanksgiving. (Because nothing makes you want to give thanks like porn)
And going back to more whoop-ass (because after seeing everything out there, I may want to carry an axe around, too).
Simon Bisley Famous Women #9 Original Art - Pocahontas
Blog Goddess's note: I had to remove a picture per request, hopefully, they now realize how offensive and boring their photo concept was.
or how he stole fire or his 
(Wait, why is there no awful 
.
in Oklahoma City.
.
