A friend shared this LINK with me and I was annoyed just enough to write again. (There's been drama in Der Bear Haus, causing writer's block and other unfortunate side effects. Reading about one's personal life, especially mine, is about as fun as watch really stinky paint dry in room without ventilation, so I'll spare you all the details. You can thank me later.)
The following descreption is taken from the band's facebook page: This "The Indians “BIG CHIEF” (Raymond Kelly), is lead singer and his stage name is GERONIMO. He is one of the finest vocalists in the business. Other members of the band are Eamonn (Sitting Bull) on keyboards, Kevin (Long Arrow) on drums, Brian (Crazy Horse) on bass guitar, and Tommy (Dull Knife) on lead guitar.
Rob Schmidt at Newspaper Rock has wrote about band last year, explaining why this kind of "lager-western" (similar to spaghetti-western but with more freckles) stage show is wrong. More information on the band's shameful history can be found here.
Wait..Doesn't Ireland get it's own share of cultural appropriation? Remember that holiday when we dress up like leprechauns and vomit green beer to "Honor" our (real or imagined) Irish roots?
So, why would they do this?
Or this:
Wait, what the f@#$ do they know about Christmas on the the Reservation?
Does something stink in here? Oh, sorry, it's me...ayeee. Yes, after spending four plus hours in the VeeDub, I'm back from Oklahoma. Did you know there are folks living down there without wifi? I was chained by a yellow cable in a little, back room all alone... Anyway, nothing reminds me of Oklahoma more than bad decor. It's everywhere! It's the Oklahoma equivalent of "that local mediocre sports team that you must be a fan of cause they're local...here, have a lamp!"Yes, I'm saying, Native Inspired schlock fills the NFL schlock-void.Not to mention, it denigrates those who were forced to live there only to have most of that land taken, too. The land-theft, I mean Land-run is re-ennacted every to rub it in to celebrate the state's shameful proud history . Okay, done ranting, back to decor?
So, you know you're at the right trailer when you see this:
Another Treasure from the Hamilton Collection, yes you should look at it up close! It's fabulous!
This reminds me of a story. A friend of mine started dating a new guy. She said, "You really like him. He collects art!" Of course, the guy turned out be a middle-age, balding, overweight, divorced, retail manager. Okay, he was nice. However, when I asked him about his much touted art collection, it turned out he collected Thomas Kinkade - Painter of light. You can imagine how fun it was for my husband to watch me squirm and discuss "The Art of Thomas Kinkade" with a straight face. No, my friend and the guy didn't work out. Amazingly, she decided he was "a loser" completely on her own and without taking his "art collection" into consideration. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he has this thing on a side table near his floral couch.
Bratz, now in winged stereotypes!
The Hamilton Collection never disappoints!
This is from Jasmine Becket-Griffith's Spirit Maidens Figurine Collection. Spirit Maiden? Really? It reminds me of those pixies my mother collected in the seventies, only racist.
You know that old white guy with the bone-choker you see at Walmart?
You think he has one of these on his wall?
From, guess where? The Hamilton Collection, whose slogan is "Collectables Inspired By You!" Yes, you are to blame for this! Can you stop inspiring already?
ZOMG! What time is it?
From Collections etc
I love the description on this one, "Table clock features a Native American style sculpted base with a maiden princess and her wolf spirit guide looking heavenward with the hope of being showered with good fortune from the dreamcatcher above. Requires 1 "AA" battery (not included). Crafted of plastic and resin"
I don't even have to make fun of it. Read the decsription, "Birds will love to pow-wow in the confines of this cozy Native American style teepee birdhouse. It has a perch outside where two birds are busy and an opening for birds to enter. Charms dangle from its bottom. Hanging hook and cleanout door in the base."
Yep, you read that right, it's a bird Pow-wow. Never mind the weirdness of feather headdresses on birds, that's right up there with chickens eating McNuggets, but why is the cradle-board hanging upside down?
So, sent him to school with information about the only Native language I knew.
And his teacher thanked me.
The following year, as part a lesson about teaching the history of the state, he came home with coloring pages praising Custer for his, "Valuable service."
And so, I yelled at the State Historical society who printed it and the teacher who handed it out.
His teacher didn't realize it was offensive.
The Historical Society apologized profusely
and said they'd send out new lesson materials.
A small victory.
But then,
I had to try to explain Custer to my seven-year-old.
Since then,
I've had to explain to my child why he can't yell,
Cher in 1973
(not touching the debate on Cher's "self-identified Cherokee" ancestry)
In the seventies, it was cool to be an "Indian", unless, of course, you happened to be an Indian.
I happen to know some Apaches. I can say with some certainty, there's nothing Apache here! Check out the shiny, blue fringe on Mr. "Butter Popcorn".
No Apaches here, either!
Did you catch the play tent?
This could be the Hipster Pretendian Theme-song:
Perhaps Ke$ha will cover it next!
Don't you just love the Album art? Thankfully, we're spared the video with this one.
Of course, that is a re-make of this song:
I know it's from 1968 and not disco, but it's just too awful not to include.
What's a disco post without The Village People? Felipe Rose honors his heritage by dancing in a loincloth, again.
Oh, but we've come so far since the Seventies, right?
This is a Norwegian band called Wig Wam. I'm just as confused as you are.
Look them up on You tube if you're bored or really hate yourself.
(btw- that guy's shirt says "I Chief; You Nothing!" or something to that effect, I found it odd.)
Think about Native American Action figures. What is the first thing that comes to mind? Spirit Iron-Knife, of course! If you were a child of the '80s, like me, G.I. JOE was a big part of your childhood along with He-Man, Transformers and, oh yeah, Star Wars. G.I. JOE had a Native guy, though. Okay, so he was a walking stereo-type with bird. What is up with the bird, anyway? I've never met a Native American falconer, have you?
1984 Spirit the Tracker
Spirit's file card from 1984
Spirit's pet Eagle "Freedom" came with both 1984 & 1989 figures
There's that word again, Mystic, ugh. Why can't he just be a guy who really likes mashed potatoes?
Wait, did you catch that? "He's not a healer or a priest or a witch doctor. There is isn't any equivalent in our culture for what he is unless we had shrinks that could actually help people."Well, somebody must have forgotten their Valium that day.
Spirit from 1989
Spirit's 1989 file card
So, this Spirit's special ability is that he's never late for dinner? Seriously?
Spirit 1992 (birdless)
Spirit 1992 file card
Anyone else think this sculpt looks a little...er...pale? Why do his "sew-in knee protectors" make me giggle? Ooo, "Authentic Navajo warrior boots", too, if Navajos were pirates.
Spirit 1993 (birdless)
Spirit 1993 filecard
This Spirit was a mail-away, ah, remember those? He's still kind of pale and would you look at those eyebrows! I wonder if he can use them defensively?
2004 12" Spirit Iron Knife
Spirit 2004 12" filecard
Admittedly, this is my favorite sculpt. Plus, I have weakness for 12" figures since I can make clothes for them or swap outfit from other one. Not that I do that. Okay, so maybe this really is just a boy Barbie. Don't judge me!
Spirit Iron-Knife 2005
2005 Filecard
Wow, this one looks normal except the bear-claw necklace, oh, and that damned bird! His special ability this time is whistle carving.
Spirit Iron-Knife's pet eagle, "Freedom" in 2005
Sigma Six 2005 Spirit Iron-Knife
So, this one, while sporting a dynamic sculpt, not only has an eagle, but a bow and tomahawks! Lookie, he's even got face paint and tattoos because he's exotic and mystic like that.
Sigma six 2005 Freedom
Spirit Iron-Knife 2006 (birdless)
2006 Filecard
Same mold as the 2005 version, same file-card text, too. However, the illustrations was new, too bad he looks like an Eastern European weight-lifting super-villain with a tan. At least, he didn't come with a bird.
Spirit Iron Knife 2008
Spirit Iron Knife's 2008 file card
Doesn't he look a bit like a confused old guy? This is a back-to-basics sculpt and the file card reflects that, too, except for the omitted opinions on modern psychology.
"Freedom" in 2008
Nope, still looks confused.
Spirit Iron-Knife 2010 (birdless)
Honestly, this Spirit, a Toys R Us exclusive, seems pretty benign until we gear him up.
Great, another tomahawk, and they almost got it right, too. What's up with the snakes?
Just because they're plastic stereo-types, doesn't mean we can't have fun with them. Spirit 2008 and 2005 make an appearances in Ian Skorodin's Crazy Ind'n The Sequel alongside the The Corp's Tracker Tom as leading man. Enjoy!
Blog goddesses note: For this post I do have to give credit to http://www.yojoe.com/and the collectors who submit their photos. Yes, I do own action figures, more than I would like to admit to, perhaps. Then, I married a Star Wars collector and my fate was sealed.
