Showing posts with label unicorns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unicorns. Show all posts

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Unicorn Returns (SFW)

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Zelduh on tumlr

 Blog goddess note:  This post comes on the heels of Newspaper Rock's post on "Land theft in My Little Pony" Yet another chunk my childhood has bee marred by bad writing and racism.  And here I thought Shia LaBeouf was the biggest threat to my innocent memories. 



For $2.99 you can download this book. 

A Challenge to be a Unicorn, A Native American Indian Pony book 2

 by Dawn Davies

This was self-published on March 10, my other unicorn post was published February 25, coincidence?

A brief description from Smashwords, “All unicorns have to spend time on Earth being a much loved horse, they have to earn golden stars in order to become a unicorn. This is book 2, all about a Native American boy and his horse.”

So, it's like a video game? Like playing Dora the Explorer, collecting all the stars to access the next level? Or Scientology?

 

What hipsters do in thier spare time...(Warning this a minute of your life you won't get back)



I have no frigging idea. 

The description says, A Native American is doing her daily dance to honor life, when she sees a mythical creature... a flying unicorn!!! The Native American tries to make peace, but the unicorn brutally murders the Native American - later boasting of her ability to fly. This is a symbolic reenactment of the horrors that befell the people who were once native to our land. The unicorn is seemingly innocent, but the true innocence is embedded within the Native American. She is pure, trusting, and as a result, is dealt a cruel fate.”

I think a better description would be, “Hey, I'm drunk and I have this hipster headdress and big green piece of paper hanging in my apartment! So, we got out that unicorn head from last year's key party and put together some racist bullshit!”

 

Meanwhile, if you need a Medicine Bag...



It might protect your virginity, who knows?

Psychics don't know we're laughing at them.


Yes, it a feather with a rainbow and a Unicorn!  I want to put in my hair, grab that pink Unicorn drum from White Ego Woman and see if I can get anybody at HINU to sing with me! 

Oh, but it gets better, Diane Tolleson is a psychic!  For $60 an hour, she gives psychic reading by phone, email or in person!  She, of course, also paints feathers.  For $75 dollars she will paint your Labrador on a crow feather.  Where has this woman been all my life?

Geeze, send me $60.   I'll tell you, "Everything is coming up roses" and I'll paint your cat with blueberry wojapi.
Painting by Mike (who does some really cute pet portraits)


 

Friday, February 25, 2011

Those Mystical Unicorns (NSFW)



According to www.legendsofamerica.com (which I'm sure is the definitive resource) a Unicorn "totem" or power animal represents purity, innocence, dreamer, personal power and gentleness.

How do you know if the unicorn is your personal "power animal"?  
Are unicorns are strangely attracted to you?  Do they seem to be following you around?  Do they show up in your yard a lot, especially when it's not unicorn season?

If you said, "Yes!" to these questions, there's a good chance that the Unicorn is your "power animal"! 

You're in luck, too, because I've scoured the interwebs to find the most authentic Native American Unicorns for you!

For only $39.99, all your dreams can be filled with glitter!

From the Hamilton Collection (you have to click the link, it's beyond sparkle!)

What's a glitter dream without some one-horned cuddles?
an old etsy listing, but no longer available, sorry!
Now how much would you pay?

Singing Tree Flutes

For the sweet sounds of a mystic Unicorn flute! 

Yeah, it's plain, white and plaster...
www.unicorncollector.com
Yeah, it said it was Native.  It has all the that random paint on it, too.  Do Unicorns come in "Wannabe"?
I'm sure it's useful if you ever want to re-enact the ending of Misery just with more Unicorn.

Just so everyone knows you belong to the Unicorn...

http://gourdblossomjewelry.com

It's made from gourd, so it's, you know, bio-degradable! Yay!

Yeah, I know it's a Pegasus. (Duh, I'm a girl.)
Buh, what if your unicorn gets lonely?  Haven't you always dreamed of having a pegacorn, anyway?  Or is it unisuss? 

And when  there are times you want to be one with the mystic Unicorn...


Well, there you go!

Blog goddess note: It's been rough week.  So much to protest this week! I thought we could all unwind with some pure silliness. As always, I <3 you all! Cbear out.