Monday, February 14, 2011

The Valentine's Edition (NSFW)

Yuck, it's Valentine's Day. Did you forget to buy your snag a gift?  

Make him or her some "Authentic Native American Lingerie".
1.  Go to the remnant bin at your local fabric store, look for scraps of ultra-suede.  For an even more authentic look, use an old leather jacket or pants purchased at the goodwill.  If you go that route, use a thimble! (I learned that the hard way!)
2. Use your snag's underpants as a pattern (you know you kept a pair, don't lie) or follow this tutorial.  The tutorial is for a t-shirt bikini, so if you can't find ultra-suede you can sacrifice your old demockratees.
3.  Use your scraps to make fringe.  If you are feeling lazy, go to Walmart and buy a yard of it. (Pick up your snag a box of chocolates while you're there!)

Need something for that special guy?
Here's a video outlining the steps on how the make a cock-bag!  Yes, an authentic, Native American, cock-bag! COCK-BAG! Prepare yourself for a mostly-naked white guy talking to the camera.  Oh lawd, I've seen too much! Can't unsee! Can't unsee!
Yes, he did just say his Chief gave him his loin cloth before he passed away.  Ain't that sweet?  His
Chief passed his sacred, magic, under-pants down to him. Awwww...

Really in a jam?  You know you've got duct tape!
All that is required for this is a roll of duct tape and some straws (steal those from quik-trip)!
Then, later you can use the left-over duct for role-playing games.  Just remember, safe words don't work if you've taped your partner's mouth shut!

Anyway, I hope ya'll are able to get your mystical  booty on this Valentine's Day.
Here's some artistic inspiration:
Look honey, I brought you the sun!

Let's walk through the woods and pick up all the wild animals we see! 
Nothing like a shag after opening for Bon Jovi...
Wanna "taste the rainbow"?

What is this? Some kind of Indian Tantra? I think you're doing it wrong.

1 comment:

  1. Rule 34 says "There is porn of it. No exceptions." Rule 36 says "There is always something more fucked up than what you last saw."