Thursday, February 24, 2011

Grandmother Frauds featuring a few words by Ben Carnes (SFW)

Guess who's back and giving workshops in Sedona next month?

Yes, she did just invite you to gather around her cedar womb.  Seriously, I can't make this sh*t up.  Doesn't she look like Mardi Gras threw up on a taxidermist?
All jokes aside, this Grandmother Drum White Eagle Woman charges $795 for 5-day workshops teaching things she can't even begin to understand.  She claims to be Seneca, she is not. Check her schedule

Here's some of the lovely, hand-painted, leather Hand-drums you can buy on Grandmother Creepy Owl's website (I'm sure the proceeds go to her legal defense fund): 
Shalom, Wakinyan!
Angel wings? Blond, furry, lady parts? Sorry I don't what this is.  I  must have skipped "Modern Witchcraft" class that day.

Pink Unicorn with a goatee!  Squeee! You have no idea how badly I want this! Its so sparkly!

And then there's this one, Kiesha Crowther aka Little Grandmother:

What's up with the microphone that resembles a giant mole?  Does anybody else find it weird she has her own flag behind her?  Wait, did she just say "crystal skull?"  I once had relative with dementia who thought all the movies she saw in her life had actually happened to her, too.

She really likes crystals and says "These crystals, they carry such a huge love vibration..."

Well, if all she needed was "love vibration", I could recommend a few shops on ebay...

And after watching that video, aren't you kind of wondering what's in that pipe?   btw- I've been told girls are not even supposed to touch the pipe, let alone smoke it.

Nice Minnetonkas.  You'd think at her prices, $295 a person for weekend conference, she could afford some real moccasins.  You can find more crazy on her website.  She claims to be the "Shaman" for the Salish and Sioux tribes.  Sioux tribes?  As in all of them?  Obviously, that would never happen since "Shamans" are from Siberia.

Here's a little note of explanation for my Non-Native friends:  If for some reason you find yourself attracted to  Native American religious practices, please stop and consider why that is.  There are plenty of Pagan and Neo-Pagan paths you can follow.  Pagans throw great parties.  You can revere the Earth without disrespecting Indigenous people.  If you still feel drawn to Native beliefs don't expect to be welcomed.  Let me clue you in a small detail, religions that don't teach of eternal damnation have no motivation to share with you.  Besides that, Native Religious practices were illegal in this country until 1978.  People have suffered to keep that hand hold on their culture.  Please, don't act entitled to it.

I asked my friend, Choctaw Activist and writer, Ben Carnes for his thoughts on the subject.  Here's what he had to say:

"There are no quick fixes to the problems they encounter in their daily lives until they are willing to change certain aspects of their life. Our religion or spirituality isn't really either, it is a way of life that doesn't come modular in any shape or form.
Once someone has mixed and matched for their own agenda's, then it loses its meaning and significance as was originally intended. Which is one of the reasons, you will never find it on the marketplace as a seminar, workshop or even a book. If they pay for a weekend retreat, then it just becomes the beginning of a scam to boost someone's status or pocketbook, or even to take sexual advantage of another.
The people who have complained that we don't share have not been listening to us, because they don't want to hear what it is we have been saying, so until they slow down and stop to listen, they will never proceed any further and there are no short-cuts!
When Native people come out and complain or protest about the actions of frauds like Keisha Crowther or myths about the Rainbow Warrior Prophecy, instead of marginalizing Native people, maybe stop and consider there is merit to their arguments. Otherwise, they will have joined the ranks of exploiters who will bring harm to others."

I'd like to thank Ben for sharing his words and my readers for sticking with me.  I <3 you all.


  1. The angel wing one's supposed to be a sefirot, I think. But aren't there supposed to be ten sefira?

    Anyway, at this point, I think a Rainbow Warrior prophecy means Indians will start our own sentai team.

  2. Oh, more hilarity. For many tribes, the symbol of thunder is...not one we would normally associate with Jews. It's actually one most Indians don't use anymore BECAUSE OF the Jews, or more accurately what happened to the Jews in the 30s and 40s.

    Swastikas associated with purification are a bit of a Funny Aneurysm Moment, if you're familiar with TV Tropes.

  3. I'm reading this and feeling sad for many reasons. I want to be respectful, but I can't know what I'm not respecting unless I learn.

    I can't learn unless someone is willing to share.

    I *want* to learn so that I understand you.

    Because you are important.

    Yes, many of my ancestors were...repugnant. Yes, I've recently become aware that there is not only a whitewashing of history that continues (no pun intended, but man, that's convenient) that affects you by it's lies and omissions.

    I know you don't need my help to fix this. I know that the collective you are strong and can do this.

    Should I help? Should I learn? I don't know how to answer these questions unless I reach out. I can't reach out for fear of being viewed as disrespectful.

    I don't want you to be invisible. But without knowledge, invisible you will stay.

    Please help someone like me understand.

    1. Bev,

      I wanted to jump back in and let you know that I found the following quote rather disconcerting.

      "I don't want you to be invisible. But without knowledge, invisible you will stay."

      I'm not so sure why you feel we are invisible. We're certainly not, we are alive and vibrant, even though we are still dealing with multifaceted oppression (which includes cultural appropriation). I'm not sure what you meant by knowledge but if you want to get to know indian people (from valid intact communities), talking to us is just like talking to any other people. If we are invisible to you that's your fault not ours.

  4. Actually Bev, indian people CAN use your help to fix this. It's called being an ally. People who appropriate or feel that they should be given access to our traditions are NOT allies, they are presumptuous thieves. Get to know indian people without expectation. Do what you can to support issues we are working on. LISTEN. Here are some links that might be helpful.

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