Friday, February 18, 2011

How to go "Awful" Pretendian Style (NSFW)

Sadly, Felipe Rose is not a pretendian.  We just wish he was.
 Pretendian  noun
Someone who appropriates generic, stereo-typical Native American themes in an attempt to appear more exotic, earthy, ironic, rebellious and possibly even whorish, but in an easily digestible "one with nature" kind of  way.  Pretendians have no grasp on o current or past Native American issues.  They are oblivious that their actions and wardrobe are offensive, because, of course, that would require acknowledging other people have thoughts and feelings.
But we can all get in on the fun, right?

Every good Pretendian needs a fabulous headdress:
Peaches Geldorf (http://tinyurl.com/45f46d9)
 Is that a feather duster she's wearing?


Or maybe just a few feathers will do...
Etsy user dekadence
 Wow, plastic warrior, feathers from the craft aisle at Walmart, a recipe to offend every Indigenous person you meet. How ironic is that?

And for days you fear you may be mistaken for a cat toy: ( Don't worry, it happens to real Natives all the time.  It's true, more Native Americans die each year from cats attacks than spontaneous combustion and blimp accidents combined!)
www.stylecaster.com
Added bonus, headbands will hold your wig on! (watch REEL INJUN for more info)  In case you weren't born with stick straight black hair, that you know, all Indians have.


But then again, nothing says "too cool worry about offending people" like Dead Animal on the head:
Charlotte Kemp Muhl, who has some, you know, mystic aversion to bras.


Don't forget the jewelry:
Etsy user feathercreations (she likes being topless, apparently. I almost had a SFW post, too)



 Oh Gawd...

etsy user MountainGirlClothing
Lee Bogle, now in hoodie form, accompanied by Guatemalan back-strap loomed trim because, you know, all Indigenous stuff goes together.

Don't forget your leather outfit!

etsy user dleather, who isn't posing as N.A. artisan. She does custom leather work.  She also has fringed leather corsets, loin-cloths, etc, for all your role-playing needs.
No, I didn't forget the guys.

more from dleather
  Wow, I suddenly feel inadequate...

The end result should offend about everyone or you're doing it wrong!
Dancing with the stars.  Found at listicles.


Blog Goddess Note: I want to thank all of you for reading and commenting on this blog. You all Rock!  
I'm listening to what you have to say, too! See the new NSFW tags?  You did that, okay a Newspaperrock reader clued me in on that, but anyway, it's there.  I love you all too much to get you fired.

6 comments:

  1. LOVE THIS! I spent a good deal of my time on the internet combating the Weekend Warriors, Indian Barbies and Pretendians alike...whether it be the just the culture vultures or those who have a distant relative with high cheekbones and dark hair, so they must be Native American (Cherokee). I always enjoy reading a blog by someone who is as fluent in sarcasm as I am myself. Keep up the good work!

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  2. Wow, and congrats! Wish I knew this word when I came across some 'pretendians' in the English gardens in Munich...! There was a 'powwow' going on, and they had some very fashionable decor! -Just remember, you dont's see so many of them in the winter! Keep it up! Hokie Hey!

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    Replies
    1. You're right, I can't stop you from wearing what you want, but I can still make fun of you for doing it.

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    2. You're right, I can't stop you from wearing what you want, but I can still make fun of you for doing it.

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  4. Wait a minute: if whites tried to hide their native American heritage, and were ashamed of it, wouldn't you call them racist? You can't have it both ways.

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