Schlock-lahoma!

Schlock [shlok]  yiddish

–adjective 1.Also, schlocky. cheap; trashy: a schlock store.

–noun 2.something of cheap or inferior quality; junk.

 So, I spent the weekend in Oklahoma.  I used to live there so, you'd think I'd be used to it.   However, I'm always shocked by Oklahoma's love/hate relationship with it's Indigenous population.  They advertise it as "Native America".  However, when it comes to respecting actual Native Americans, well, that's a different story.  In Oklahoma, nowhere is safe from "Awful".

As soon as we crossed into South Coffeyville we were greeted with these:

at The Woodshed in South Coffeyville, where they also carry Lee Bogle greeting cards!
(yes, that is my pudgy little hand with the tape keeping my ring on, I'm classy like that)

Seriously, do people really buy their "Objets d'art" at the Gas station?

Gardner's Used Books, why?

*Sniff* I LOVE that place, too.

 Even the Goodwill...

  Teepees, cactus, cowboys, canoes and buffalo, really, this shirt has it all!
(yes, I shop at thrift stores, even on vacation)

And Walmart.

Okay, I have a friend that owns a similar shirt in purple and insists on wearing it around me in public.  He likes wolves, alright?  He wears the tie-dye shirt I made for him, too.

Meanwhile in the fabric department...

$2.50 a yard! What a bargain!

I want this fabric!  What the hell would I do with it, though?  

(Please leave "awful" ideas in the comment section, I might make it a reality!)

Let's not forget the Home decor section at Drysdales:

I had a "real" photo of these painted ponies and feel like I should have really cool story about how I lost it.  However, I am terrified for clowns and have a certain healthy unease about horses, too.  For me, horses are like those ladies at the country club.  I can admire their grace and beauty, but I have no desire to mount one.

 Talk about your Random Appropriations!

 Okay, this isn't Oklahoma, this is Chanute, KS.  It just struck me as strange.

And now for some Official Oklahoma Souvenirs!

In case you need to forget about Miley Cyrus for a while...

Speaking of drinking...

from ebay

From the seller's listing: "Retro Risque' Oklahoma Jiggers Drink Glass Indian Sooner
Today i have this Fantastic Retro and Risque' Oklahoma Jigger Drink Glass for Sale. This is a Great Bar Novelty Glass that has on the Front a Red Indian wearing a Feather in His Head Band and saying Hic, Hic. Apparently he is Drunk and Probably a big Chief at that. On the back of the glass it tells you What Type of Indian you are by how much You Drink. 2 oz. makes you a Papooses, 4 oz. a Young Squaw., 6 oz a Young Buck. 8 Oz. a Warrior and 10 oz makes You a Big Chief Only. What a great retro addition to your fine Bar Collectibles. Please do not think i am bias or pushing you to drink by me selling this item. I just think its a Funny Piece of History"

 Oh, I get it now, it was offensive, but now it's retro, risque and funny.  Puke.

Got Smokes?

from ebay

A quote from my husband (and Awful proofreader), "It fits."

Blog goddess note: Don't think I  hate Oklahoma and all that.  They got Braums, Whataburger and Rib Crib.  Plus, stuff keeps getting built within walking distance of my Mother-in-law's so I don't get lost while trying to escape for a while!  Then, there's Pow-wow season. Oh, and wild onions...

The Cat's regalia

Rebecca Baldwin

Felis domesticus, aka the house cat, is not indigenous to the United States, so you'll never find images like the one above in cave drawings. It is said traders and explorers first brought cats over on their ships.   Even so, the "crazy white lady's pet" has found a place in Native America.  Natives love their cats.  Rez Cats are just as prevalent and tough as Rez Dogs.  Where there are Native who love cats, or, more likely, white people who love Natives and cats, there is a market for Native American "inspired" cat schlock.


You have this t-shirt:

Admit it, in fact your wore to bed last night!  Heck, since you rolled out of bed at the crack of noon, you're wearing it now!  So, I don't have tell you what back of the shirt looks like now, do I?

Basement Kitty hates you:

I know this look, this the look you get just before your face is clawed off.

Zuni Sun-kitteh-

stolen from Happy Zen Pe

Ready to taunt you on your facebooks:

Basement Kitty dreams of Buffalo...and Murder!

Stolen from google, but the source page was gone.  If you know where this comes from , please let me know.

Sad hipster Indian Kitteh is sad.

Karo Design

Cold on my Vespa.  My feathers fly in the wind.  Litter makes me cry.

Watercolor is harder than it looks

“Chief Meow Meow” Arleen Cornelius-McCann

For those who don't know, when I can't work in textiles, watercolor is this Blog Goddess's chosen medium...well that combined with ink and bad poetry.

Somebody bought this already.

Dutch & French Artist, Vera von Benckendorf Smith

Okay, somebody bought it for $35, but still.

This reminds me of someone...

Wild Sunflower Studio

 

Actually, this is rather cute and unoffensive.  My husband would totally tile the kitchen back-splash with fat kitty tiles.  What?  Cats are manly. See?

(not my husband)

Another FB offender:

Meanwhile, at a craft-mall in Oklahoma:

Etsy user Turquoise Hearts

Voted "Most Likely to be Eaten by a Real Cat"

Etsy User Kirie 2602

Normally, I don't crack jokes about actual Native Made crafts...

Dorothy Herrera, Cochiti Price: $425

Buh, seriously?  Don't worry, the Artist has sold 2 of these at $425-$450 a pop.  She will sell more, too.

Finally, the most random and strangely offensive thing I could find:

Ka Graves

The description on this photo-shop train-wreck:

"The Rite of Summer

SIOUX PROPHESY

There will come a time when the earth is sick and the animals and plants begin to die. Then the Indians will regain their spirit and gather people of all nations, colors and beliefs to join together in the fight to save the Earth:
The Rainbow Warriors.

- Ancient Native American prophecy -"

Yeah, right.  I think the real explanation of this piece is: Mushrooms!

Everybody wants to be Poke-A-Hottie...er, I mean Pocahontas(NSFW)

Blog Goddess Note:  This was one where I can't even show you the most "Awful" things I found on the interwebs.  Why anyone would want to dress up as hyper-sexualized version of a 13-year-old girl is beyond me.  Make me want to bury my nose in one of those "Red roots of White feminism" books and have a friend smudge me.  BTW- if anyone want to read some interesting info about the real Pocahontas check out the article" Pocahontas, Half-Raced and Fully Sexed: The Almost Empty Signifier and American Iconography"

Pocahontas the Cannibal?

IO9 Twisted Princesses

Considering everything I found, I kind of like this.  Makes me think she is going to whoop the ass of everyone defiling her image.

Neither more interesting nor attractive...

City Salon HB

 I don't get it, why do people do this?  "Oh, I'm so inspired by Pocahontas, I'm going to put a leather dress and have somebody take my picture."  It sounds ridiculous, right?  

Yet, we see it, again.

Krasimir Ganchev
Anybody else getting bored, yet?

And again,

Ann Lobowitz "On Disney fairytale Legends" for Vanity fair. 

Fairytale? What?

And Again.

Pocahontas EXPLORE! by Martina Michelle
I'd call it "Self portrait with Dryer Sheet" but that's just me.

Then, there those who should know better.

And the Cherokee Nation groans in unison...

The Random

• Robin Williams Pocahontas 2009, oil on linen, 5 x 6 feet
  Was the title "White chick on an inner tube" taken already?
  

 And the scary

Just imagine Dolls

Just another way to ensure your daughters have eating disorders.

Sadly, not even close to the worst of it.

Deviant Art Steeveinlove

 It goes down hill from here, lots of leather thongs and feathers, especially on posts surrounding thanksgiving. (Because nothing makes you want to give thanks like porn)

And going back to more whoop-ass (because after seeing everything out there, I may want to carry an axe around, too).

Simon Bisley Famous Women #9 Original Art - Pocahontas

Blog Goddess's note: I had to remove a picture per request, hopefully, they now realize how offensive and boring their photo concept was.